Be the Non-Anxious Presence

By Betty Brandt

I had a conversation with a teacher whose school had recently been on lockdown for 30 long minutes. During that time, she was locked in her classroom with twenty fifth graders and no information about what was going on. Was there a shooter in the building? Was there a shooter on the school grounds? Was there a shooter in the neighborhood? Lots of questions and no answers. Anxiety built as the minutes ticked by.

She readily admitted that she failed her students. She was so anxious herself that she had little to give to the boy who was shaking or the girl who was crying. She was wondering aloud to me about what she could have done differently.

How do you calm yourself in stressful situations? Do you take deep breaths? Do you move your body? Do you sing? Do you say familiar prayers? Do you hold hands? We can look to the Civil Rights movement for time-tested skills. Do you have images in your head of marchers with linked arms, singing “We Shall Not Be Moved?” Can you see them kneeling in prayer? Can you see them resolutely breathing and walking forward together? Being a non-anxious presence is something that takes practice. If we can learn other skills, we can learn how to remain calm in stressful situations.

In these anxious times, when fear is being used to manipulate us every day, we must all practice skills to become a non-anxious presence. We owe it to ourselves to be able to think clearly and be there for those who depend on us when uncertainty is all around. There are many things we cannot control, but we can, with practice, control our reactions. Taking a deep breath right now is the beginning.