How to Be an Ally

Matthew Vire • June 4, 2024

Why "Pride"?

I once had a close friend ask me, "Why is there a 'Pride' month? Why does the gay community talk so much about pride?" He was an ally to be sure, but he did not understand how pride came to be associated with being gay. I think it's a good question, and one I expect many people have.


Last week, I came across a meme someone had posted on social media criticizing Pride month. The gist of it was that people in the LGBTQ community have not accomplished anything simply by being LGBTQ, so they have no reason to be celebratory and prideful. The tone was clear; this was not the statement of an ally, but of someone who wishes the LGBTQ community would just be quiet and stop making themselves so visible. 


In fact, with courage and tenacity, LGBTQ people have accomplished a great deal in the past few decades. Attitudes have changed dramatically, the majority of Americans support marriage quality (and that percentage keeps increasing), and people are embracing their gender and sexual identities more readily than ever. That IS something to celebrate. Even so, Pride in our community is not really about accomplishments. So, what is it about? What can you, as an ally, tell people if this question arises?


Pride is a direct response to the message of shame that has been put upon queer people for generations. We say we have pride because the message that we should be ashamed of who we are remains prevalent. We reject that message, and we embrace pride because it is the opposite of shame. We are not proud of our sexual identities and/or non-conforming gender identities because we think we should be rewarded for them. We are proud because we know we are worthy of love, acceptance, and equality.


Pride month is about celebrating diversity and affirming our right to be seen, accepted, and respected, even if we are not necessarily understood. 


This Sunday at The Garden, we will welcome some guests from the LGBTQ community who will help us understand what allyship is, and how we can be allies for each other.


By Betty Brandt February 21, 2025
About 55 years ago, a man named Robert Greenleaf wrote an essay titled “The Servant as Leader.” He started an entire movement, which we know today as Servant Leadership. In essence, Servant Leadership is a philosophy and set of principles that enrich the lives of an individual, builds better organizations, and ultimately creates a more just and caring world. Servant leadership flips the traditional model and puts the CEO at the bottom in a supporting, serving role. The Servant Leader is a servant first. This represents departure from a leader-first approach, where leaders may prioritize acquiring power or material possessions. The basic pillars of Servant Leadership include: 1) LISTENING – You always know when someone is really listening. 2) EMPATHY – Empathy relates to sympathy, but goes deeper into an active sharing of the others' experiences. 3) HEALING – Healing relationships and bringing people together through dialogue and common experiences affects not just the people involved, but also the larger community. 4) AWARENESS – A Servant Leader is aware of their strengths and weaknesses and surrounds themselves with people that will complement those strengths and weaknesses. 5) PERSUASION – Persuasion is based on relationships built over time. A Servant Leader’s words and ideas can be trusted in times when discernment is needed. 6) CONCEPTUALIZATION – Articulating an organization's the lived experience into concise ideas or principles helps those involved move forward together. 7) FORESIGHT – Servant Leaders actively think ahead and consider the potential positive and negative consequences of decisions. 8) STEWARDSHIP – Servant Leaders keep the reputation and integrity of the organization in mind at all times. 9) COMMITMENT TO GROWTH OF PEOPLE – Servant Leaders want staff and volunteers to grow personally as they serve the organization. The goal is to become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous and more likely to become servants. 10) BUILDING COMMUNITY – Building trusting relationships is at the heart of building strong communities. Servant Leaders build trusting relationships. Listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, stewardship, foresight, commitment to the growth of people and building community. What do you think? Do you know people who possess these characteristics? In a world where the hunger for power is so evident, we must recognize and support those among us who choose a different path. Servant Leaders need your support! Reach out today and let them know they are valued and not alone in their quest for a just and loving world. --------------------- For more information about Servant Leadership go to www.greenleaf.org. Find Greenleaf's book, Servant Leadership on Amazon on Bookshop.org
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